I was sure he was the one, I felt ready, and I knew he loved me back, so why not move ahead? Meanwhile, my husband was enjoying our dating relationship, felt no urge to get married right then, and only looked at me blankly when I tried to describe my feelings about the situation. Without even really realizing it, I responded with pressure. My pressure project had backfired. Instead of convincing him to get married, I had only convinced him that I cared more about marriage than about him.
As a guy, I can give you a list You both live together. You're undoubtedly sleeping with him. You probably handle the inside upkeep and he takes care of the outside stuff.
You're already performing all the wifely duties. Why risk making it legal? Why pay for an expensive ceremony? Why go through the embarrassment of a divorce because divorces are so easy these days?
Why do any of it?! Sorry, but you sold the chance to be married to him away for free. He's not going to risk anything further for a marriage license you can frame. My husband proposed around the 5 and sixty 5 days mark and our project replaced into comparable to yours - we have been living mutually for 4 years and had 2 canines.
We had spoke of marriage and that i figured he might recommend, yet i did no longer comprehend whilst. I wasn't truly nervous approximately it because of the fact we had different stuff occurring, yet i replaced into happy whilst he did. Your boyfriend must be doing a similar element.
Ask him why he thinks you 2 are not married yet. I do have faith he needs to marry you; in any different case he does no longer are transforming into so in contact with you and he does no longer prefer to communicate approximately marriage and young infants in any respect. Most men prefer "blunt and to the point" type of conversations. It removes any guess work and everyone knows exactly where they stand. Tell him that you need to talk, that you have expectations and that you want to know where you both stand in the relationship.
Do not be afraid to be blunt. As I said,most guys appreciate it.
The only thing marriage does at this point, since you agreed to live with him, is endanger half his material wealth. Answer Save. KitKat Lv 6. Alloy Boy Lv 5. Just be straight with him. Source s : When i was younger I was like your bf, i got the ultimatum from a girlfriend, didn't commit and she left me. Turns out it was best because I didn't want to be with her anyway. If i did i would have popped the question.
I have no advice looking for some myself goodluck and keep your head high.
Dating 4 years and no proposal
I will say he was in my kids lives most of their growing up years. I was never interested in getting married, neither was he. We both own our own homes. He has always been there for them, and for me. We are both retired, houses paid off, settled in life. We travel together, we do things all the time, we are committed.
I have a large house in a nice area, he lives in a small place in a not so nice neighborhood. Thats not happening either. I can see us continuing on like this for the rest of our lives. If I were to pass, my kids would take care of him and look out for him.
Should You Stay With Someone Who Doesn’t Want to Marry You?
Just the way she is. I hate that our time together is now getting to something like this. So what do we do? How dare you give this advise to people. You sound like an 17 year old girl with unrealistic expectations of love.
This has been good to me the last 2 years. He asked me what did I want yesterday and I said I wanted to get married. What am I supposed to do with that? Do I walk away, and move in with my mother? Do I walk away from him and go through the emotional? Hi, Similar situation only I seem to be the oldest. At this age you look at relationships much differently, no thought of having kids, you already have reached many of lifes goals and yu know what your in for etc.
From our initial meeting we shared our individual desires for the furure and that ultimately marriage was what we both were seeking, we made tha pack that if either knew it was not going in that direction we would be honest with each other. We have both been married prior many years ago, I have no children and him 2 grown girls, we both own our own homes and it is a long distance relationship.
I have no issue being apart for periods of time but he wants someone there all the time. This aging parent situation can and most likely will come up in most peoples lives married or not and you deal with it as best you can and there is no time line to go by. This weekend I brought it up and he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but has several conflicting reasons for not moving forward to engagement. I believe he just keeps me hoping and I am getting beyond frustrated I have had a few dates of ending the relationship including this weekend but I keep giving more time hoping for a different outcome.
Talk some sense into me. I read one time that if a man already feels married to u then he wont marry u! I want to say walk away cause if he feels that way then he wont let u go to far for very long! Hi, advice needed!! However he says he wants to get married but no ring yet. We argue all the time about it as I feel so let down and in a one sided commitment relationship. I met him Summer and moved in April and have a life together, share everything. I have a 4 year old son from my ex, and he got one too.
I was so sad what I heard, but I love him way too much.
Ted Huston, a leading researcher on transitions in relationships, marriage and parenthood, followed couples for 13 years starting in He states in his study that happily married couples dated for approximately 25 months before getting married. NO tiendakiteboarding.com 4 YEARS OF DATING. By Guest, 3 years ago on Dating. 1, K. NO tiendakiteboarding.com 4 YEARS OF DATING. My boyfriend of 4 years told me he need space. We were working toward marriage. Last Dec I thought I was going to get a ring, I was disappointed, tried to hide my feelings. Been living with my boyfriend for years s. Mar 10, That was around October , after over three years of dating. I thought a proposal would come soon. The months afterwards, the topic was dropped completely. Sometimes he would make snarky remarks on weddings of friends (by the way, 90of his friends are married). Like two of his friends sent us wedding invitations and when he saw them he.
First and foremost I say to every woman you are a Queen, now being a Lady is your choice. We must know who we are and what we want when going and ina relationship.
I believe timing is everything and I do NOT believe in rushing a man, but do know when a man is delaying you. We know delay does not always mean denial, but in this situation you may want to believe it is. Ultimatums do not work, you want to be loved and married by choice not force.
God bless each and ever relationship and person!! I have been in a 3-year committed relationship which has been good, not perfect. We both have many faults, but my guy is the most loving and kindest guy I have ever met. I have had more downs than ups since we have been together, in all areas and by the grace of God this man has been there for me every step of the way, especially when I was and do get sick, he treats me like a new born baby.
Actually, that us my problem and fear is that he treats me like a baby and Queen and I am so spoiled! Ok to the real stuff, he wants to get married and at least get engaged now, but I just want to leave things as they are BC I am afraid he is going to change once married.
No more spoiling then. I know and believe that God has sent him to me and we pray together daily, but when he annoys me I go home and say that is why I am not marrying you.
We did live together for a 1. I would just like to date for a couple more years to make sure. Whoa, there.
I personally know a couple who has seen people marry and divorce while they were still dating long time. Will it really be forever? I digress, and at the same time apologize for what might be considered ripping at the article. I just want to make a point that it seems to unfairly in my opinion indicate to readers the health of a long term yes, even many years is centered around marriage.
No one is immoral for believing in marriage, nor are they for not believing in it. How much do you need that? If a lot, then leave. Is it all them?
Look, many counselors will task you with what your role and responsibility is in the problem when they see a lot of one-sided arguments. Some of my friends in the field note that the more saintly the complainer make themselves sound, the more skeptical they become about the real story, even when the person totally believes it. That also projects both ways and will likely get neither of you to your goal.
Also, I have to tell the non-marrying type to equally not hold anything against those that place a emphasis on marriage. They call marriage old fashioned, institutionalized, an ritual of dressing up to state what is already known, and they complain that laws, religion, and taxing practices unfairly privilege the concept of marriage.
All in all, if you lasted 7, 10, or more years, you can probably make it without formal marriage some folks have common lawand many of you may in fact statistically have outlasted a great number of marriages, as cold and blunt as that sounds.
For some, this might come as a new or different way to look at the conversation. For others, they have already made up their mind.
Apr 06, The average time frame for an exclusive relationship to transition into marriage is 18 months. According to research, men and women know Author: Madamenoire. Mar 07, After 5 years with no proposal, it might be time for an ultimatum Post to Facebook Time for ultimatum After 5 years with no proposal, it .
I was honest on our first date about having to pay for getting pregnant. I told him I dont want to live with someone who would be around my kids then leave, their dad is not around. On one yr he have me a promise ring saying he would marry me. Years later he said it was a promise he would always love me. He now refuses to even answer me if I ask about future plans. He is always on his phone but doesnt respond to me.
We are 7 yrs in our relationship and when I say I respect any decision he makes and still nothing. We dont go out on dates unless its weeks after my birthday. When he works out of town where he stays in hotels and managed all women employees, I would hear from him for days.
He says at least we helped eachother if anything. I left a bad relationship prior to him. And he knows that. And every time I fix a reason why he will even say we are committed and will make it through anything not necessarily marriage he makes another reason.
I just want closure and let him go.
May 16, Our 20th "anniversary " is coming up in June. I am 50 and he will be turning He basically raised my four children (all grown and gone), we share a home (in his name only), he is very well off financially, I've been able to stay at home for the past 15 years after giving up a very successful career and he put an amazing ring on my finger about 15 years ago (with no . After five years of dating, I told my boyfriend that if he didn't propose by Christmas, we were over. At the time, I considered this less a threat and more a way to expedite the inevitable. Feb 01, 4 1/2 years together and no proposal. Mainly guys please? We've been dating for 4 1/2 years, we've lived together for about 1 1/2 years. He says he wants to marry me, but he still hasn't proposed. I'm just trying to figure out why he hasn't made his move yet. we have been living mutually for 4 years and had 2 canines. We had spoke of.
Or to be told we got this and move forward. He gets defensive if I wear certain clothes now where as before he was so sweet and charming.
Im not accepted on his social media and any little thing sets him off. How do I ask what he wants without causing anger? He only has said it depends on of we get along. But he gets mad so easily now. He has no kids but when I offered to pay to have one he chose other things.
He is in his late 30s and I just need advice. And yes this Is embarrassing.
4 1/2 years together and no proposal. Mainly guys please?
He knew wk 2 I wanted marriage and kids bc I was up front. He was separated 2 yrs when we met and finally was able to get a divorce last year. We have lived together the whole time since problem 1. His mom even asked on multiple occasions and he said we were getting married. He promised end of Still no proposal.
He promises we are getting married and having children, but still no proposal. I brought it up again tonight after he had worked 12 hrs.
I even told him mos ago just get me a fake ring idc you can get me something better down the road. He talks about the future, but still no proposal. Saying that out loud is so embarrassing!!! I love him so much but love myself more. Well with so many women nowadays that are so very picky and looking for Mr. Perfect which definitely has a lot to do with it today, especially when many women now want men with a lot of money.
I agree with you to a point. But there are also a lot of women out there who have made their money and take care of their own, they want a man who is just as secure.
Just saying, a picky woman is one who knows herself and her worth. Nothing wrong with that. This is a really useful post. I have been going through the same thing for 7 years. Promises that never took place. Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Hi everyone. My boyfriend and I met and fell in love in summerso it's been almost 5 years. He turns 33 this year, I just turned Our relationship has always been amazing and I'm not exaggerating when I say that.
He's loving, sweet, we spend a lot of time together, are very affectionate and we just get along really well, we barely ever fight. We moved in together after just a few months of dating and it's been great. There is one thing though- We did break up for 9 months and got back together in October last year.
The reason we broke up? Fights about getting married. One day in he came home and suggested at lunch that we should sign papers for a 'free union' so I could get his health insurance and company benefits. We're not from the US, so i'm not sure if something like that exists in the States. A 'free union' in our country is basically a contract you sign that makes your partnership legal and you'll be able to receive the same legal benefits as in a marriage. Anyways, I told him that I rather get married than have a free union thing.
FYI, he always knew I wanted to get married some day. I always made that clear, even though we didn't bring it up a lot. In the beginning I just thought that's what he wants to. I remember the early months of our relationship, I was so convinced that I would be one of those girls who would get engaged after just a year. Our relationship was going so well and he asked me to move in with him so quickly he had never lived with anyone before even though he has long term relationships beforehe told me I'm the love of his life, I met his friends and family quickly and that one time we were in a jewelry museum and he asked me which of the rings I liked stupid me thought of a proposal, I guess he just didn't mean anything with that question.
Anyways, when I told him I rather get married he said okay, we can do that some day. After several discussions though, we went to a jewelry store to look at wedding bands for both of us.
He even tried one on without me having to ask him to and seemed in a very good mood. That was around Octoberafter over three years of dating.
I thought a proposal would come soon. The months afterwards, the topic was dropped completely. Like two of his friends sent us wedding invitations and when he saw them he said something like 'I can't believe he's getting married. That's so stupid' and 'He always said he would never get married, I don't understand why he changed his mind'. One day in January I called him out on it, and we started fighting.
Forget about how it is 'supposed to be.'
To sum it up, he told me that he never wanted to get married and that he thinks it's stupid and that he doesn't see the point of it. He says it's just a piece of paper and since he's not religious he doesn't see why he should do it.
It ended with me leaving, and with us breaking up. FYI again, I'm not religious either, but to me, you don't have to be religious to get married.
Marriage to me is much more than a piece of paper, and I've explained that to him. Also, I know he cannot be scared for money reasons. I've always told him that I don't even need an engagement ring or a wedding, that I would be perfectly fine with us eloping a simple nice ceremony with the two of ussome wedding rings and telling everyone afterwards that we got married.
Soooo we broke up and I moved out. No contact for five months. He then drunk messages me telling me that he still loves me and misses me so much. I answer him, but I don't tell him the same thing. I just made small talk instead, I was still so hurt from all that.
Then I stopped answering he didn't ask me anything so I didn't see the point of continuing to talk to him.