Should Christians use online dating services? Yes, and with gusto! Online dating doesn't correct the well-documented imbalance of devout Christian women abundant supply to like-hearted men a paucity , but it at least widens the net for Christians seeking partners. It also reduces the need to choose between meaningful service in a region where pickings are slim, and work that may be further from one's calling in a more populated area. Along with these benefits, online dating does raise new dangers: a creep-a violent one, even-may be lurking behind the next click; the process over-represents certain features of a person facial appearance, for starters ; and it requires an investment of funds that perhaps could be better spent elsewhere. It would be foolish, however, to preserve the dating practices of an earlier era, even as an attempt to avoid these dangers.
When my sister-in-law Kristina was in her 30s and unmarried, she received an endless amount of pressure from well-meaning friends and family members to take matters into her own hands when it came to finding a marriage partner. They counseled her to move to a bigger city, join a singles' group, and make herself more available to men. But Kristina believed that if it was God's intention for her to marry, he was able to bring her husband into her life out of nowhere, without the help of singles' groups, blind dates, or eHarmony.
And that is exactly what happened.
As she built her life around Christ instead of the pursuit of marriage, he orchestrated a beautiful love story in his perfect time and way as she simply trusted him with all her heart. If you are single, God has a much higher calling upon your life than spending all your time and energy trying to snag a marriage partner.
As Paul wrote, being unmarried is an amazing opportunity to serve the Lord without distraction 1 Cor. It's true that you might find a decent partner by reading books on how to get noticed or by joining an Internet dating service. But what amazing heaven-scripted beauty we forgo when we try to write the story ourselves. God is in the business of writing incredible love stories. The problem is that most of us aren't willing to leave the pen in his hands.
After God promised a son to Sarai and Abram in their old age, Abram, at the urging of Sarai, tried to rush God's plan by taking matters into his own hands and sleeping with his wife's maid-servant, leading to the birth of Ishmael. What a messy situation this turned out to be.
It was a self-manufactured, subpar solution of something for which God had a far better plan Issac. In the same way, when we rush ahead of God in search of a love story, we end up with less than God's very best. The most God-honoring way to find a godly spouse is to stop hunting for one, and instead focus your entire life around Jesus Christ and his priorities.
If he wants you to be married, he is more than capable of writing your love story in the most unlikely way, in the most unlikely place-without the help of blind dates, singles' groups, and online dating services. God can bring your spouse to you in the remotest village in Africa, or in the most hidden slum of Haiti. Throughout my past 16 years of ministry, I've encountered many godly men and women who didn't put life on hold until they met their spouse.
Instead, they poured themselves into building the kingdom of God-even though it meant being less available to the opposite sex. Amazingly, it was in a place of seeming obscurity that God wrote their love stories. Remember that God cares more about this area of your life than even you do.
He wants the pen of your life, not to make you miserable, but to bless you beyond all you could ask or think. Those who put their hope in him will not be disappointed. One might think that with 97 million single adults in the U. Not so, say many single and single-again adults of all ages.
Is Online Dating for Christians?
Enter online dating, society's answer to this dilemma. Match, eHarmony, AdamMeetEve, Christian Soulmates, and a thousand other online dating services, Christian and secular, offer themselves as a possible, sometimes seemingly sure way to find a perfect relationship or soul mate. In my experience with single adults, at least half of them have tried online dating. What should a single adult think about these services? Especially a Christian single adult who desires to marry, but discovers only 20 percent of churches offer a group where single adults of similar ages can create and develop friendships with the opposite sex?
As a former pastor to single adults for 21 years, and now director of Assemblies of God Single Adult Ministries, I'm not against online dating services. I have seen a few of these relationships form and mature into healthy marriages. I do have many concerns, though.
Online dating services are tools to bring about a contact. They're not much different from a person meeting someone in the grocery store, except the person may live 2, miles away. Because of this, rather than condemn online relationships, I urge extreme caution and offer tools for navigating the world of online relationships.
Do realize that people can and do misrepresent themselves and exaggerate their personal qualities. People tend to reveal too much too soon online, making it easy to build false intimacy. Depth of character cannot be known online or even on the phone.
Because of this, it is a good idea to meet in person early in the relationship. Online stalkers do exist, so protect your identity. Use caution and maintain a healthy level of skepticism. Don't use your real name as a screen name, and don't assume someone is a Christian because he or she says so. It is a good idea to meet in a public place and not travel alone to a strange place to meet an online connection in person-and let someone know where you're going.
Online dating and christianity
Online dating can work, but realize that most Internet matches do not lead to long-term relationships, and that online dating can take a lot of time. God knows your desire for a relationship with the opposite sex. He's a good matchmaker: he paired Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, and many other model biblical couples. The promise in Philippians that God will supply all your needs doesn't refer only to food, shelter, and clothing.
Trust him to provide in his timing. Until and after he does provide, deepen your relationship through prayer and study of his Word. Live an obedient life in your attitudes, desires, priorities, motives, and commitments.
It's more important to become the right person for marriage than to find the right person for marriage. Would you marry someone like you?
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Is Online Dating Good for Christians? // Ask Pastor John
Coronavirus Medicine and Health Lent. One of the best pieces of Christian dating advice is something that not only Christian singles can benefit from: even non-denominational singles who are looking for commitment-minded partners would do well to remember that the basis for any truly whole-hearted relationship is often friendship.
This is friendship that starts off between a man and a woman as a shared collection of interests, invitations to community and fellowship events or through discipleships. Even when meeting online, once you move to a local context, compatibility can only grow deeper.
Aug 12, Is Online Dating Good for Christians? Episode August 12, Close. John Piper @JohnPiper. John Piper is founder and teacher of tiendakiteboarding.com and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota.
The only thing to remember is this: it is great to pursue women in this spirit of friendship, a man should do so with an eye to cementing it into something defined and committed. In the Song of Solomon, the desire to be physically close and intimate is inevitable and even beautiful. Here, Christian singles can turn to Scripture, once again, for an idea of how to navigate through modern dating.
Staying sexually pure during dating is common sense for those who hold a high regard of godliness. In the Song of Solomonthe couple removes themselves from all temptation by keeping themselves out of the situation to begin with. Instead of remaining indoors or in seclusion, the couple is outside, and visible to the public.
The Creator has woven such a desire into our hearts so that we may act upon it.
When online on dating sites like EliteSingles, the first part is done for you through profiles, a unique vetting questionnaire and the platform itself. But deciding how much importance to place on finding a counterpart who shares your faith is ultimately up to you.
The Golden Rule in Christian Dating | Desiring God. Oct 17, Online dating doesn't correct the well-documented imbalance of devout Christian women (abundant supply) to like-hearted men (a paucity), but it at least widens the net for Christians seeking partners. Should Christians Use Online Dating Sites? - Bethany Baird - Read about Christian dating and get advice, help and resources on Christian single tiendakiteboarding.com: Bethany Baird.
Luckily, there are thousands of local Christian singles who sign up, with approximately 65, new members signing up every week. They also call for a deeper introspection into the desire to commit long-term.
Many singles will eschew their beliefs in desperation to escape loneliness or the perceived and flawed assumption that dating mostly results in nothing. But dating without the intention to be married or conscious choice to pursue a partner who truly lives between the bounds of a godly covenant is giving over to the cultivation of the wrong desires - these are the desires to escape boredom or the fear of being alone.
Love In His Image: 7 Rules for Christian Dating
So take it lightly and easily. Take the time to cultivate the right desires and pay due diligence - or use a service like EliteSingles that can do that for you! Either way, it continues to be admirable, worthy and godly to go about your single life with just as much devotion and involvement in discipleship as if you were with a potential partner. Member login.