By chica , July 22, in Dating and Romantic Relationships. Merhaba everyone I am new to the forums. I am dating a man from Adana and we have been dating a little over a month. He seems very sweet, but he is also very hard-working Sometimes we have communication problems because he speaks English fairly well, but oftentimes he comes across something that he doesn't know how to say.
Hi chicaWelcome to the forum. In all honesty, if you want to understand his culture, you would need to visit Turkey, and experience it with your own eyes, and then talk to him about things that don't sit right with you, to see where he's coming from. Obviously, it will depend on his upbringing and his family's expectations of him, which you might only really understand if you visit.
It was our 12 year wedding anniversary yesterday, I met my husband in Istanbul, and he visited my family in England before we got engaged. Good luck. Hi Chica and welcome from me too. It's hard to generalise really, some Turkish men will spoil their girl friends and some don't same as American men I guess. What can you expect from him as a Turk, again, it hard to say and would say that Sue was spot on really.
To understand your man more, should the relationship get more serious in time, before you commit you should visit and stay with his family in Turkey and see how they interact with one another as you will get an insight as to how they live and understand a different side to him. Although it is far too early to think about a future together you can ask him about what he thinks about the lives of Turkish woman and the role they play, it would be a fair question to ask as an American woman you would be curious to know.
Turkish men can be jealous and controlling by not all, but as your relationship is fairly new those signs may appear later but then they may not. Thanks for the feedback everyone!
I have tried to learn a little bit about his culture. So far, most of the stuff has been pretty basic. I know most of the Turkish population is Muslim but he is not practicinghe took me to a Turkish restaurant to show me the food, we've made Turkish tea together, I watched "My Father My Son" with him, and I understand that family is of extreme importance in Turkey.
Some of the cts of Turkish culture like the strong family unit remind me of the Hispanic culture that I have studied! When it comes to relationships, he says that Turkish women expect more out of their men, but that it decreases over time. So a guy might go all out when he is trying to get a girl to be his girlfriend, but a few months in, he might not try as hard. I've asked him about the role of women in Turkey, and as far as I know, they are pretty liberated.
They are Muslim, but have a lot more freedom than most Muslim women. While they are expected to take care of the kids and the house like in the USthe majority of them work. I think it is also a generational thing. This guy is in his 20's, and he said that in campuses, college kids are a lot more liberated.
Hookah is also really common in the culture, but he tried to stop smoking And congrats on passing so many happy years with your Turkish husband! Do you speak Turkish as well? If I spoke Turkish I would feel a little less out of the loop! My Turkish husband and I are in our 13th year of marriage, but I can't really offer any more than the excellent advice already given here. The only thing I would advise though, if the relationship appears to be getting serious, is for you both to set some groundrules based on the differences in both cultures In my opinion communication is the key to a successful marriage Good Luck x.
I think that if you browse through the romantic relationship forum and the marriage forum you may get a better idea of the culture, especially if you look at this thread although it's rather long. Sorry Chica but I disagree, maybe in the cities a lot of women go out to work but in Turkey as a whole the majority do not. Their "liberation" is not the sort of liberation that you have in the U.
Every now and then we hear a story about how a village has bucked the trend and started a womens' cooperative making or doing something but these sorts of stories are very few and far between. I agree with Cukurbagli about the situation of women and work. Many of the women with whom I have spoken do not see working for someone else as liberating.
They are pleased that the little their husbands earn is enough for them to to able to spend time cleaing their own houses instead of cleaning someone else's. Apart from teachers who, unlike in most Western countries, are highly respected, working women are at best pitied and at worst looked down on. As for relationships, part of the tingle of a new relationship is all that asking questions and sharing and finding out about each other.
Take your time, you will definitely find good advice here but your boyfriend is the only one who is going to provide you to the answers to your questions.
What It's Really Like Dating an American Girl
Also you could read these newspapers to give you idea of what happens in Turkey. You will find that one paper leans to the left and the other to the right of politics. Thank you Reyhan! That was all very helpful! I could kind of see family values in the movie "My Father My son" I can't remember the name in Turkish! It was interesting to see how incredibly close the family was and how important family is in Turkey.
How to date in Turkey (Turkish Culture)
My boyfriend also told me that at Turkish weddings, the man has to drink a cup of coffee after the bride pours salt in it Supposedly it symbolizes how the man should respect the woman in the marriage and not complain.
I quite liked that :DAlso, he said that Turkish men generally respect women for everything that they do: cooking, cleaning, and sometimes having a job. I am crafty and take care of myself laundry, cooking, etc. He said that he is expected to give a lot of gifts when he returns home to Turkey for a short vacation. He is also used to spending a lot of money.
I, on the other hand, am frugal and save a lot. If I really want something, I buy it, but I think about it a lot first! Where I live in Turkey the coffee isn't drunk at the wedding it happens before when the families meet to discuss a possible engagement.
The girl will make coffee to impress the propective inlaws, she can sometimes put salt into the boyfriends coffee either to test him or to show that she isn't in agreement with the engagement. In some cases if the girl makes the coffee badly she can be turned down as a perspective bride.
Yes, family is very important in Turkey and I've found that the bond between mother and son is usually very strong. Gifts, I often wonder if its just about showing how well they have done in their new country. Unfortunately, the giving of gifts can get out of hand but that is a whole different topic.
Passionate Call Girls Mumbai Ready American Girl Dating Turkish Guy to Help You Enjoy the Night. Our gallery is still packed of sexy pictures of this finest Mumbai Escorts offers. Additionally, just about every girl's bio will say what she likes American Girl Dating Turkish Guy to perform together with her clientele. It American Girl Dating Turkish Guy truly is simple to chance upon a Mumbai / here is my experience of dating Turkish man as a foreigner (I am Southest Asian) 1. He is alittle bit controlling over you. Extremely jealous and always want to dominate you. When he says no you are not allowed to do that. It's better you do not d. Aug 05, Still, it helps build the picture of what has made him the person he is.A member of the forum I run for girls with Turkish partners (sorry for the blatant plug!) would probably be able to answer a lot of your questions from her experience as an American woman who met and married a Turkish man.3/5(1).
Oh my goodness. That coffee we had. I thought it tasted strange. So mrs fil was trying to tell me something, perhaps subconsciously. She said it was because she is culinary challenged. To find out after all these years I think in your case if it wasn't her culinarily skills at fault she was testing you to see if you were made of sterner stuff, You obviously passed the test :.
Hi ChicaI'm a little late adding to your thread, as I just got back from Turkey to Uk last week, and have been settling back home and catching up. I'm a relative newly wed to some of the others here - I've been married to my Turkish hubby for 5 years.
Giving you my take on 'Turkish Culture' would probably take ages, and probably be useless to you. In the end, you make your own culture in a relationship. The generational differences you wonder about are more apparent in some areas than others. There's a good chance that if you visit a village, you'll see that most girls move from their mother's house to their marital home - or maybe even to their mother-in-law's house - and they would expect to lead quite a domesticated life of housekeeping and visiting family.
As someone has said already, there's no substitute for actually going over there for a visit when the time is right. Visiting your boyfriend's family may give you an insight into the sort of family roles that he envisages - but then again, having expanded his own horizons, he may choose to live differently to them! Still, it helps build the picture of what has made him the person he is.
A member of the forum I run for girls with Turkish partners sorry for the blatant plug! She's over in Turkey at the moment, having just had their Turkish wedding and staying with the family for the first time. You could either look out for her on the site see the link below in my signatureor I could put you in touch with each other if you like.
But don't feel obliged - just if you think it might help. I wish you luck in your relationship. I know many girls who having met a Turkish man have a real thirst and curiosity for all things Turkish - but in the end, I think it's good to see faults and pitfalls as well as seeing the good things.
Every culture has its good and bad cts.
Hope everything works out well for you. Wow, you've asked so many questions that it's difficult to know where to start. Firstly, what I would say to you is, try to keep your feet on the ground and let things take their natural course.
You've only been dating this man for just over a month, and as he works such long hours - and there is a language barrier - you'd do much better in getting to know him as a person by going out with him and sharing time together, than by trying to find out every nook and cranny about his culture - when he doesn't even intend on living in Turkey - and is hoping to settle in the US. I know it's natural to want to discover a little about someone's culture when you start dating someone from a different country, but only having known him for a month I get the impression you're focusing too much on his background, almost as though you're banking on spending the rest of your life with him.
It seems terribly quick to want to know all the ins and outs of his culture at such an early stage. I know you say there's a lnaguage barrier between you both, but really, the onus is on him to learn your language - he's the one who wants to settle in the US out of interest, what is he reading for his PhD and what language is he studying it in?
It's also him who needs to learn about your culture and how he'll have to adapt to living and settling in the US. Of course, if your relationship continues, deepens and becomes serious, then you will want to know about his family background etc - just as you would any man. But trying to learn about this man by studying Turkish culture is pointless: he's an individual and you can't lump all Turkish men in the same boat. Some are very Westernised and some are not; some are very liberal and some are very staunch.
And with all due respect, finding out how to make good Turkish coffee is not going to make him fall in love with you - he'll just think you're a good coffee maker.
I can tell you now that my partner who I've been with for 7 years doesn't rate my Turkish cooking skills, but he still loves me despite that, and he still respects me.
When you said your boyfriend told you that Turkish men respect women who cook, clean and go out to work, I'm inclined to think it's more to do with them liking them to clean and cook, than respecting them for it. So if you don't mind me saying this, I'd be a little wary of that statement of his. It sounds like he's letting you know now what he expects from a wife, and he's sweetening it by saying it's a 'respect thing'.
Regarding him paying for you when you go out on dates, all men the world over usually like and expect to pay. There can be instances where the woman does pay her share, but as a general rule the man likes to foot the bill. So I don't see that as strange or abnormal. In certain circumstances a couple may split the bill, but usually it's the man who pays, so you should stop concerning yourself with that. Besides, he has no qualms about paying, so why are you so worried about it?
I've American Girl Dating A Turkish Guy tried a few dating apps in the past and was let down. When I found MeetBang, I wasn't expecting much, but within 15 minutes of signing up, a girl messaged me back. I know it's just a casual hookup site, but we're still dating to this day. Thanks, MeetBang!/ PLEASE. My friend do not try to use money American Girl Dating A Turkish Guy to get sex from American Girl Dating A Turkish Guy women. There is a 37 year old man who has a child, and describes himself as an old fat balding ginger. He gets casual sex from / This one has always confused me. Men, particularly American men, seem obsessed by the concept of game. It is some kind of weird, intangible chat-up line infused, pick-up art. And, to be completely honest, I find the whole idea a little creepy. Online, most men suggest that you need either money, or 'game' to be able to date an American girl.
Just enjoy it. He wants to pay - so let him. It's his choice. As for him buying you an evil eye, shawl and a shirt for your birthday - I don't think that's excessive. Incidentally, where did he purchase them from? Do you have a Turkish centre near you? I did notice you saying that you felt he was trying to 'buy you' with gifts - what made you feel that?
And, from there on out, your hard earned money will be spent on trying to please your girlfriend rather than anything else. The issue that I take with this is twofold. The first, is that it makes American girls seem helpless, and unable to financially support themselves without a man. This is an extremely outdated view, and from my experience not true.
Chelsea is independent, and financially savvy much more so than me in a fair few cases. My other issue is that I believe strongly in the idea of chivalry. Nobody should pay for a meal or anything because they are expected to, but should because they want to! To Brits, the idea of sending food back when it arrives is a big ordeal. Most of us would rather eat whatever is put in front of us than face talking to the wait staff and asking for another.
To Americans, Chelsea included, this is not the case. She is confident. She knows what she wants and she is not afraid to say it. The best description I have ever read for it, is that dating an American is like going through life with a puppy. They are excited, and happy to talk to others.
Personally I agree with this, and it certainly brightens my day. It is not to be confused, however, with being loud, brash or obnoxious. I am sure there are some people that are, in every culture. But American girls seem to have developed a reputation for it. One I cannot say I have ever witnessed with my own eyes. Chelsea is confident, and enjoys talking, but she is certainly not brash, obnoxious or rude to others!
This one has always confused me. Men, particularly American men, seem obsessed by the concept of game. It is some kind of weird, intangible chat-up line infused, pick-up art. And, to be completely honest, I find the whole idea a little creepy.
I, however, clearly needed no game or even to know what game was to start dating Chelsea. It was even her who said that she liked me, not the other way around! It seems to me as if game is a very easy excuse for men to blame their rejection on.
I am sure we are stronger for it.
Celebrity culture. People level a huge amount of criticism towards American girls on how superficial they believe them to me. But again, in my experience, this is not at all the case.
Chelsea cares more about those around her, and the animals that she works with than the fashion or lifestyle choices of a distant celebrity. And she most certainly does not have a checklist that men must pass to date her.
My point is, it is easy to say that all American girls are superficial, but in reality they are not.
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The popularity of celebrities, and the superficial qualities of women are often perpetuated by the news and entertainment industry. They create tropes shortcuts that can often lead to false assumptions. Chelsea is a Professionally Certified Dog Trainer. Another unfortunate comment that I come across all too often is that American girls are naive, stupid, and closed minded. This one particularly bugs me, because honestly, Chelsea is by far one of the smartest people I know.
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She chose a profession that she loved dog training and has pursued it with all of her energy. She regularly attends seminars on behavioural psychology, neuroscience, communication and business. Of course, that is not to mention that she is always aware of the latest news and world affairs.
To suggest that all American girls are naive and stupid, is something that I find ironically pretty naive in itself. Chelsea is easily one of the most intelligent people I know, and I am proud of all that she has achieved. Another assumption that I can agree with. Yes, in my experience, Chelsea is very upfront and honest. That the purpose of dating for her was to find someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
At first, this took me by surprise. I am not used to people talking this honestly about their feelings or intentions.
American girl dating turkish guy
But, I am glad she did. I think it is a quality that promotes openness, honesty and in general leads to a much healthier relationship! In conclusion, what should you take away from this article about dating American girls?
American girls are a huge and diverse population.