Office romances happen-sometimes out of nowhere. But dating a co-worker comes with risk. For instance, ones in which one person in the couple exerts career influence over the other. However, you and your potential partner should at least give it some serious thought before you forge forward into significant-other territory. In other words, having a brief fling with someone you work with after a holiday office party is probably not worth the potential awkwardness it can cause later on. The first thing you need to do is get on the same page as your partner.
Still, dating at work can be a personal and professional minefield. Policies vary from company to company; relationships don't always end well; and two jobs are on the line.
If you're dating someone, hopefully you find them physically attractive but sometimes you might find them a little bit too attractive. When you are dating a co-worker you run the risk of being turned on during meetings or while sitting at your desk, and having the desperate .
So - tiendakiteboarding.com spoke with real-life office daters and workplace experts to devise the ultimate dating-at-work survival plan. Because seriously, where else are you going to meet someone these days?
According to HR consultant Laurie Ruettimann, most written policies prohibit employees from dating only a direct boss or subordinate.
Dating someone from work
Which brings us to a crucial point: Try not to. Experts - tiendakiteboarding.com spoke with discourage manager-subordinate romances because they create the perception or reality of favoritism; in a worst-case scenario, both parties could be fired or dragged through a harassment lawsuit.
And women are disproportionately judged for these relationships, whether they're the boss-"With great power comes great responsibility," warns Green-or especially if they're the underling.
Relationships with coworkers at your level or in different departments are less of a headache, and policies tend to reflect that.
The Dos and Don'ts of Starting an Office Romance at Work
The truth is, "even if there are rules, people will hook up anyway," admits Green. So what to do if you find yourself lusting after the project manager down the hall? Here's the rule: You get only one shot at asking out a coworker.
If you ask repeatedly, says Green, you risk creating a hostile work environment for your crush, which can be defined as harassment. And if a colleague asks you out and won't take no for an answer, that may be harassment, and you should consider talking to HR. As for the casual hookup?
Being clear on each other's expectations and having smart conversations before dating a co-worker can be the best thing you do for a relationship that begins at work. Says Garcia-Tunon, "an office romance doesn't have to be career detrimental." Knowing how to handle yourself and your relationships will make your time on the job much. Apr 14, How to Date (Responsibly) at Work. dating at work can be a personal and professional minefield. points out, "It's hard to pretend like you're not dating someone for eight hours a day." But. Sep 12, The Dos and Don'ts of Starting an Office Romance at Work Considering Dating a Coworker? Keep These Things in Mind "It's easy to crush on .
If you make out with someone at the holiday party, bite the bullet and ask about the person's intentions afterward. If you do decide to start a relationship, remember that others will probably pick up on the sparks.
As Anna, 27, who dated a coworker for seven months, points out, "It's hard to pretend like you're not dating someone for eight hours a day. An easy fix is to act professionally and, when you're together, keep the door open. But their co-working is going smoothly as a result. Another rule of office relationships: If things get serious, disclose. Yes, it's embarrassing, but you'll be glad you did.
It might even make things easier. Jennifer, 25, an accountant, kept quiet about her relationship-until she and her boyfriend were assigned to the same project. It's natural to think about how an office romance will affect your career, but the fact that you work together will also affect your relationshipso make sure to draw a line between work life and love life.
Jessica, 25, an antiques expert who moved across the country and, basically, in with a coworker, eventually realized that the relationship-job combo was dominating her new life. And be prepared to stick to those boundaries, even in terrible situations. When Ruettimann was working in corporate HR for Pfizer, she heard rumors that her now-husband's department was going to be outsourced.
Is It Okay To Date A Co-Worker?
Sounds harsh, but sharing the info could have gotten her fired. Fortunately, their relationship survived, but it's a reminder that mixing romance and work can get complicated.
The biggest hazard of workplace relationships is the biggest hazard of all relationships: They end. I knew he was a little insecure about the differences in our titles, and I knew these changes would make everything infinitely worse. At first, I let him do his thing, convincing myself that I trusted him enough to let him have autonomy.
Things got uncomfortable whenever I saw the need to give him guidance on something. He became resentful when I corrected his work, even though he tried not to show it. Things only got worse.
Then, of course, by dating someone in the office, you are opening yourselves up to gossip. This might be fun for the first few months, especially if you like being at the center of attention. But after a . Aug 08, In , I was working at a small communications company in New York City when I became involved with a coworker. I'd never dated anyone . Jul 25, Dating a coworker or boss can be tricky. But those at startups, consulting companies, and across industries do it. You can't stop love, even at work.
After two months, we both began looking for other jobs. Ironically, he was interviewing for a position somewhere else at the same level I had been promoted to. This pissed him off, I think, because it starkly illustrated my view on the differences in our quality of work. Eventually, I left the company and we began seeing less and less of each other.
Around six weeks after I started a new job, we broke up.
If the potential for something special is there and you decide to go for it, just keep things hush-hush. Leave work at different times.
Why "Friends First" Doesn't Work With friends, you get along great and have lovely conversations, but finding someone you have a unique connection with-whether you share the same humor. May 18, 9. Don't make "coworkers" your type. If you break up with a coworker, do yourself a favor and don't date another one. You'll suddenly go from someone who dated a Author: Darla Murray. 6 Dos And Don'ts Of Dating Someone You Work With. by Bethany Lozier. Additionally, it might be more than a faux pas or awkward one night stand if your workplace has rules against dating within the workplace. Be sure you're aware of the rules, and if hookups are a no-no, be ready to leave your job if you decide to take things with a.
Sit apart at office gatherings. Act polite but disengaged with each other in front of coworkers. Be alert about places you may bump into colleagues on the weekend-people pick up on things quicker than you realize, especially in small settings.