Even a Puerto Rican, seemingly close in cultural traditions, was out of the question. Just months prior to our conversation, he'd tried dating a Jamaican girl and said the differences were too much to bear. Judging by his recant of their short-lived love story, if one can even call it that, the two were polar opposites - but I doubt race was the sole culprit of their dismantlement. Sure, they preferred different music, different food, different traditions and different forms of entertainment, but the real issue was that they were on separate pages, both unwilling to compromise. Alas, the two parted ways.
Sometimes love can be very, very strong. It definitely can also be very romantic. And yet, with some people it can. CAN you live away from your family and town for the rest of your life together except during visitsif that is what needs to happen for one reason or another in your married life? Can he? Someone is going to have to make that sacrifice since your families live so far apart.
Are you both willing?
If not, now is the time to face that reality. Your commitment to each other must be that strong to make it work. But you must face the reality of it and not romanticize it or ignore it. If you have great differences in this area of your lives together, there may be an even greater pull away from each other.
Please weigh all of this very seriously. Each of you needs to answer these questions per cent truthfully to the best of your ability.
They will help you to better know more of your differences and similarities, that will help you to know if you should build a future together. Everyone going into marriage intends to have a happy marriage, but not everyone going into marriage puts into place the PLANS to build a happy marriage. There IS a difference. Intention and planning are two different things. The question is whether or not you are both ready for this serious of a commitment and then the question is whether or not you are both ready to make this commitment with each other, despite the great amount of differences you will have to work through.
You have to seriously decide this together. Dear Cindy, Thank you so much for replying very soon. When I was writing this message I was in a little hurry and was very much confused what should I write actually.
Then I decided to write a very short thing. She was very much happy but again worried about my parents reaction she even asked the same questions and things what you asked and said. Everyday I pray to God to help us in this situation. But I would love to see my family in my marriage. This will be my second marriage and his too. We both want family and the company of each other.
We both love each other, and are very well prepared to face anything. Well now if we talk about culture differences and habits then I will be adjusting for sure and sometimes will make him understand about my things. You asked about the parents thing; will I be able to stay away from them life long?
Just want them with me when I will be marrying him. Just pray for me that God will help me in this situation. Just need all you prayers and wishes. Glad to hear it you definitely have my prayers and best wishes for a great marriage that from the moment you marry you will work with each other to be the best together. May God bless and help you and may your parents be persuaded, as they see the way you will both work to make this marriage a good one, that you made a wise decision.
My grandmother eventually liked my dad even more than my Romanian uncles. She saw how good my dad was for my mom and that persuaded her to eventually give him a chance and love him as a preferred son-in-law.
Hi Trivani, I would like to contribute here if I may. I am WP Work in Progress and I wrote the text here below from 1 July, since I have been in an inter-cultural marriage for the last 36 years. All of what you said sounds very good!
Yes you are venturing into the unknown as I did and you seem to have thought things out very well. Cindy is right about your BOTH being willing. I too, like you, had lived away from my family for several years before getting married, so I was used to it. I went to her country and we married directly after I finished my education, with the idea that I would live in the Netherlands for good. I began to learn her language, her father was my teacher.
We lived in the US for 4 years. To make a long story short, it took us about 7 years to actually return to live in the Netherlands. In those years we both lived in Belgium and Germany, not our own nations, so we were both living away from our families in cultures not our own.
We have now been living in the Netherlands for the last 25 years :. I had to do the same with a girl with whom I was engaged to marry before my present wife. My parents disagreed. OHH that was difficult!! They had two main reasons- one was that my fiancee was from a different culture Italian and the other was a character question- that my fiancee was very dominant, and that I would not be happy. The first reason I respectfully discounted, but their second concern I had to admit, that they were probably correct.
So I broke my engagement one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Later I married my present wife, and, looking back, I can see more clearly that God had His hand in this whole progression though my parents are not Christians as far as I know.
I knew that then, and I can see that far better now. I certainly can identify with your positionjust walk carefully and prayerfully, keep talking, voice what is on your heart, and be confident that God CAN and WILL lead you. Hope to hear from you WP Work in Progress. Good afternoon Sir. My ex, betrayed me. Please help me with prayers.
God bless you. Teelee from Lagos, Nigeria. Dear all, I have been married for more than half of my life now in an intercultural marriage. I am an American man married now for 36 years to a Dutch girl, who is the love of my life.
We are now living in the Netherlands. We have 2 adult children and 3 grandchildren. In a nutshell here is what I have learned. For the men, the Bible tells us to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Get to know each other very well before getting married!! Take your time!!
This is not something to be rushed! Listen to your parents both wife and husband to be! Consider carefully their opinions.
Thinking of Marrying Someone From Another Culture?
My wife and I are both Christians. This has been the biggest single factor which has kept us together and happy for almost 40 years. I have no experience with marriage in which the religious conviction of husband and wife is fundamentally different. I can imagine that a difference here needs to be VERY carefully and prayerfully! My wife lived in my nation for 4 years. My wife was willing to do just that. We ended up living in 4 mations, and moving 7 times in the last 36 years.
Simply said, We take care of each other. We love each other. We own our mistakes. We admit our failures. WP Work in Progress. Very romantic! I am also Christian and I really love multi cultural marriage but from the same religion as well.
Peggy, you will have to look into those. The laws are different in every country.
I had an American bf from Texas (he's Jew) also had a Persian/Iranian bf (Muslim) never married though I can give some advantages and disadvantages based from my experience. Advantage: You'll be more aware of other culture, continuous learning, a. Marrying someone from another culture could mean that one of you will be living outside of your home nation permanently. This means that you will not be able to see your family very often. It also means your children will see very little of at least one set of parents (their grandparents). Jun 17, When you date someone from a different culture, you want to learn the language of his or her ethnicity. My boyfriend's grandparents, while they do know English, speak Greek as their native tongue.
Be diligent find out what you need by persevering. I have a Girl whom I want to marry and we are from different tribes. I am a man who knows her tribe but she does not even want to learn anything from my tribe. Now is it fair for me to sacrifice alone everything for this relationship to last for a life time?
Emmy, If she is not even willing to learn about your tribe and how to build relationship bridges between your two different ways of living before marriage, then what makes you think she will join with you to build a good marriage together later?
This gives you a peek into her willingness to be a cooperative partner to you. You will both need to make some sacrifices and compromises.
It seems like you are willing to make sacrifices and compromises for her without her being willing to doing the same for you. That is my prayerful opinion, as sad as it may seem to you. You want a partner, not someone caught up in her own interests alone. I am a husband married 37 years to my wife who is from a different nation, language and culture.
It is essential that you both are willing to learn and adjust to the nation, language and culture of the other. I would not consider marriage under the conditions you are describing at all, knowing what I know now.
This does not mean that you have to forsake your own identity. It does mean that you both need to be willing to learn about, adjust to, make compromises for, and honor the nation, language and culture of the other. Take care, and take your time!!
I am British female and hope to marry my partner in India next year. He is from a tribe in north east India. A tribe that has their own history and culture before converting to Christianity along with many other various tribes in north east Indian States when Missionaries came many years ago.
As a family they used to practice cultural traditions, some of which they still do, many of which they have let go of. Traditionally they would make rice beer and present it to guests entering their homes and drink it on special occasions.
Regarding marriage, the families of both the female and the male on either side will come together to meet and either agree or disagree on the marriage. The female who marries an eldest son will go to live with her new husband along with his parents and possibly also grandparents. She will be not only responsible for her own children when she has them, she will also be responsible for her husbands parents and grandparents when they become old and sick and until they die.
Traditionally she will be in the home to cook and clean, although of course nowadays there are many at University or who have studied and have great goals and talents. It depends on the families and on poverty.
Dating someone outside your culture
Most families traditionally live in this way and continue even after converting to Christianity. My opinion is that this way of living continues due to poverty as well as strong bonds between families. I went over to visit my partners family recently and live in their family home for around three months in order to meet the whole family and get to know them and for them to get to know me before I marry their son. It was a challenging three months. I knew it would be!
I have spent time in both south and north India over several years for months at a time.
While perhaps choosing someone within your race can eliminate a layer of complications, I don't think it's a goal any of us should intentionally set out for. After all, when you expand your horizons, you're more likely to surround yourself with an array of different, enriching tiendakiteboarding.com: Geraldine Estevez. Hi Zino Altean thanks for the A2A! Well I am married now so I am opposed to both! Lol, but on a serious note, it does not make a difference to me as long as it is someone that shares the same values as me and wants the same things from life as me. ADULTS ONLY. You are about Dating Someone Outside Your Culture Does Not Affect to enter a website that may contain content of an adult tiendakiteboarding.com Someone Outside Your Culture Does Not Affect These pages are designed for ADULTS only and may include pictures and materials that some viewers may find offensive. If you are under the age of 18 (or 21 in Dating Someone /
Yet it was also deeply insightful to be able to live as part of the family and of course with my own room. Not shared! I learned a lot about the meaning of family and I learned to understand and appreciate how cts of their culture works for them even though it is challenging for me because I am from a culture and family that influenced me and nurtured me in different ways to theirs.
I attended their church which was all conducted in their tribal language. Several believers could speak English and many could not. The family ate together everyday, depending on who was there at the time. Rice daily with various vegetable and meat including chicken, pork, beef and fish. That was my worst food nightmare!! I love Mediterranean food from Greek to Italian. I just adore the flavors and ingredients and I also appreciate delicate flavors.
The family accommodated me to the best of their understanding and care and they were welcoming and flexible in their approach toward me and my needs. They also bought a chicken, killed it, prepared it for cooking, cooked it and ate it. They serve it with the bones and I was once served organs of the chicken as a special meal before I departed. Sometimes family came from far and wide just to see this white woman and see if I was a good one for their family member.
On many occasions meals were prepared for extended family where they would share prayer, worship, food and conversations about when our wedding was going to be. I did often feel like the odd one out.
Well I was but the language barrier was an issue for sure. Saying that, there is much we can communicate without speech through our actions, eyes and love combined while speaking our own languages. Even though I could not understand the daily family prayer if no one translated for me, the family always included me and invited me to share in the way that they did.
The family did accept me and the father did have a chat with me one to one about future and he did tell me he gives his blessing for me to marry his son. There are many differences between our cultures and the way we have grown up and developed as adults.
Food is extremely different, the way we cook and the way we eat is different 2. I have lived independent since I left home age 22 7 years ago. He still lives under the ruling of his parents at age 37 while he lives at home. He has never rented his own place 3. In his culture the female cleans the home and cooks and serve the men first, even when there are visitors to the home.
In my culture females are encouraged to be independent from a young age and men also cook and help clean the home. Not too much emphasis is on these matters in my own culture. In his culture there is and it is important. It does work in his culture and the girls and women accept their responsibilities. Languages are different.
He can speak and understand mine. Families live together very closely. Parents and grown up children and grandparents. They even share beds when visiting family come. I have lived alone in my own flat and only visit family members. I could not live with my family members and nor would they want that.
My grandmother is 90 and still lives alone and independently of her own desire. My partners parents are very reliant on their grown up children.
However I understand the differences and reasons and having lived with them all I can appreciate their closeness. They live as a joined family which is something I deeply respect and admire.
Though for me it is hard to never have privacy in the home outside of my room. In church the males sit at one side and the females sit at the other. Only married couples sit together. Marriage can not only be agreed by the couple. The parents and siblings should also be in agreement. I can understand this because families are much closer than in my country and are accustomed to living closely. The eldest son and wife and extended family look after parents when in old age. I have travelled in Europe and in developing countries and have a vast life experience.
I have a work history from a young age. My partner has a very different background. Grew up in village and parents did farming work. His culture are not tactile. My upbringing is the opposite. In my own country I am safe to travel alone as a woman day and night in comparison to in India. This may be hard for an expressive and strongly communicative woman of the opposite culture who is accustomed to equality in the workplace, family and in friendships.
Marriage day is very much focused on keeping the family, guests and church happy. There is no kiss or affection shown, no dancing or free expression like in my country. The weather is different in the extreme. My partners culture revolves around family and church.
Marrying Someone from Another Culture
In my culture friendships are held as important if not more valuable than family relationships. I am more detached from family. My partner is willing to come to the UK to live after marriage in India. He recognises the difficulty for me to live as they do after seeing me get sick and struggle in various ways while I visited for three months. Practically we could not earn anything significant in India and do not want to live with parents after marriage.
My partner is happy with the life they live and could easily marry a tribal girl and stay with his parents all his life. He is willing to work and live in the UK with me.
Couples Share Biggest Cultural Differences
Of course, it's because I have the desire to travel. But, the real reason is because I love new cultures. I love learning about people's ways of life, how they were brought up and what values their ethnicities hold dearly. A college girl working three jobs and saving for her loans and her future couldn't make her "travel around the world in 80 days" dream a reality. But, instead of embarking on a journey across the world, I've embarked on the journey of cross-culture romance.
I've fallen in love with my soulmate who's from a completely different world than I am from. I was raised American with traditional Jewish values. Dating people from completely different worlds than mine has not only broadened my own, but it has bettered it overall. Here's why:. Of course, we've all had to sit through high school classes of Spanish, French, Italian and Latin. And, let's get real: None of us actually wanted to take language in the first place.
It was just a requirement. When you date someone from a different culture, you want to learn the language of his or her ethnicity. After being together for some time, I downloaded Greek-learning apps on my phone for weeks, practicing greetings and conversational words. Plus, employers often look for unique qualities like bilingualism.
Being able to say I can speak another language makes me stand out from the crowd and expands my own personal experience. Every culture has its own signature dishes. While there are tons of "authentic Greek restaurants" all over New York City, there is nothing quite like eating lamb or spanikopita that my boyfriend's grandparents made. The time and effort, the secret recipes and the love that is put into making a food from your own culture makes all of the difference in the taste.
If you. If you don't believe me, ask any Italian if Nonna's chicken cutlets taste anything like store-bought ones.
The answer is always no. Every culture has its traditions and its values. While culture sometimes intersects in morals and lessons, it's always interesting to learn and absorb new traditions.
The biggest thing one learns when dating someone from a different culture is patience and understanding. Not everyone is raised the same way you were, especially when you become an adult and move away from your hometown. When you enter the workforce, you'll be faced with coworkers and bosses who are from all over the world.
Different cultures bring different norms. The biggest asset you can bring with you is tolerance.