The first kiss my boyfriend and I shared as friends-who-now-know-they-like-each-other was nothing short of terrifying. I pulled him into what I thought would be a sweeping, spark-filled smooch and he just stood there, hardly moving. The rest of the date was even more catastrophic. We nervously drank too much and watched Sweet Home Alabama on his bed without looking at each other. I was convinced we had no chemistry and that I ruined a perfectly-great friendship. All to say: I have been there.
And no matter what happens, women with male best friends aren't pulling some kind of sexual long con.
I'm not saying we deserve a medal for dealing with the pressure of everyone's suspicions and expectations and still managing to maintain kick-ass friendships in the process, but Here are 34 things only we women with male best friends truly understand. You care about each other intensely, support each other unconditionally, and mock each other mercilessly.
Even if he's one of the girls, or you're one of the guys, the male-female BFF dynamic has a few subtle differences from other kinds of friendships. Even if you keep your own clothes in a giant pile in the middle of the room, you're basically Rachel Zoe when he's trying to figure out which pair of khakis to buy try to talk him out of the ones with the pleats kindly, if you can.
I'm not saying none of your female friends want to hear that joke that ends with the farmer's dick falling off in the automatic milking machine; I'm just saying male friends are usually a more consistent audience for your "blue" material. It's as if every few weeks, someone tells him that women like to be complimented, so he says something nice about your hair even if it looks exactly the same as it always does.
Jun 19, Your friends ask if you guys are a thing yet. One time I had a guy at a bar tell me he didn't ask me out because he saw I had a boyfriend. The guy he saw was not my boyfriend, but he was a guy Occupation: Sex & Relationships Editor. Apr 14, Moving from friendship to dating can be a little scary, but friends take their relationships to the next level all the time! If you're crushing on your guy pal, there are tons of ways to make him want you as more than a friend. Try subtly flirting during interactions%(1). It sounds like something that only happens in the movies or the best '90s teen television dramas, but you can end up in a relationship with your friend in real life, too. It happens a lot more Author: Karen Fratti.
Your female friends will carefully listen to the unique elements of your current dating drama, and come up with thoughtful and relevant advice; your male friends will tell you that this guy is an asshole.
No one hears more about how guys are "all animals" than a woman with a male best friend. You know: hanging out, confiding in each other, watching hilariously bad movies, picking out neon tie dye t-shirts together.
10 Signs Your Guy Friend Wants to Be Your Boyfriend
Typical friendship stuff. You try not to care, and just focus on your awesome friendship. But it can be really exhausting to spend so much time correcting people's perceptions and answering their super invasive questions.
Has it suddenly become really trendy for people who are dating to never touch each other? Is that why everyone assumes that you're dating? But as soon as you start to see this person as more than just a friend, you start making things a little bit more complicated. The thoughts of being with your best friend start to take on a bit more of reality in your mind.
Sep 28, Your best friend has seen you in all types of tees - the one you got from a Walk-A-Thon back in , the one you accidentally puked on during a Author: Karen Belz. Just a word of advice on dating your best friend: It can be next to impossible to go back to the way you used to be if dating them doesn't work out. However, knowing that you'll be dating someone whom you trust wholeheartedly can certainly make it seem like a worthy endeavor despite the risks. Oct 23, Your female friends will carefully listen to the unique elements of your current dating drama, and come up with thoughtful and relevant advice; Author: Gabrielle Moss.
For me, I started to picture myself asking her out on a date or how happy we would be if we did end up together. I even thought of how cute our story would be to our friends because many people believe that being in a relationship with your best friend is one of the most solid ones you could have.
Wishful thinking is another way of saying that you are hoping to end up with your best friend. Our minds can really complicate our lives when we overthink about everything. Overthinking corrupts your thoughts and can even give you problems that you once never had. Putting meaning into everything that happens between you and your best friend can cause so much confusion and the problem is that this is a product of your own doing.
You guys will probably avoid talking about it because it could be awkward afterwards so you just reject the thought of it ever happening.
But being you, the person that likes your best friend, will have a difficult time not putting meaning into those kinds of things.
Every love song begins to remind you of your best friend. When this happened, I was constantly thinking about every action and decision I made because of course, I wanted her to like me back or show interest in me.
Is it really worth taking the risk? This is your best friend, your better half, your partner in crime. What if we lose the friendship that we have worked so hard to build?
But what if it does work out and we actually end up really happy together? Going back to taking the risk, this is the time where all the stages came back to me which gave me the inability to fall asleep.
Dating your male friend
This made it increasingly difficult to focus on anything else so I just had to get it over with and weigh the pros and cons. Everything I held on to, the fact that she was my best friend, the exclusive insights that my friends would give me, all the wishful thinking that I could conjure in my head, all those sweet and intimate moments that she never does with her other friends, and many other factors were at war with everything that made me hesitant and hold back like the fact that it could end up ruining the friendship, or that it would cause some burden or drama that we both would definitely want to avoid.
This is it.
Luckily, there are steps along the way to make this whole process less like the most stressful thing that's ever happened to you. Here are seven things to keep in mind if you're two friends thinking of dating each other:.
8 Reasons Why You Should Consider Dating Your Best Friend
It can be tough to suss out if you have mutual feelings when you're already jokey and sweet to each other. It doesn't have to be anything too overt right away - we started off with dressing room selfies where we asked each other's opinions on outfits we already knew we looked really good in.
Eventually, I graduated to borderline-sexts about how his legs looked in shorts, but there were so many baby thirst steps in between. The point is you can take your time with getting more flirty and seeing if A.
Jun 26, Why dating a friend could be the secret to true love The latest episode of Love Island reignites age-old debate on whether men and women can be just friends Olivia Petter. May 09, When you've re-downloaded every new dating app only to swear off romance for the rest of your life two hours later, dating a trusted friend can feel like a great option. They're cute, they're nice. Moonrise Kingdom. One of the most amazing people that you can encounter in life is your best friend. This is the person you can share your most special moments with; the person that knows you for all of your strengths and accepts you for your weakness; the person that will be the most sincere in congratulating you during your triumphs and the best shoulder to lean on during the lowest points.
Make sure you have the right kind of friendship for a relationship. There's a huge difference between your ride-or-die BFF and someone who's just really fun to party with. Your friend's robust social life can be hot until they flake on date night over and over again.
Sometimes your "straight bro first time anal" dream meets reality when your straight friend is gay-curious. Gay and bi men are sensitive to our brothers in the closet because most of us were.
When you've re-downloaded every new dating app only to swear off romance for the rest of your life two hours later, dating a trusted friend can feel like a great option. They're cute, they're nice to you, and you can trust them.
But there's so much more to a healthy romantic relationship than just feeling secure. Wavering a little is perfectly normal if you both value your friendship and really don't want to mess it up.