Melody Green. AAA Pro Life. Why You Shouldn't Marry or Date an Unbeliever By Melody Green At first glance, it may seem that an article such as this is unnecessary - that anyone who loves God could not possibly consider spending their whole life married to someone who doesn't! This, unfortunately, is not the case. I receive letters daily from women who are desperately trying to serve God in a full and complete way, but are unable to do so because their husband loves and serves the world.
However, the problems and the principles I will be talking about can obviously be applied to any Christian thinking of marrying or for that matter even dating someone who doesn't love Jesus with all of their heart. This article is not for those of you who were first married and then became a Christian at a later date. Even though, as a result, you may now be married to someone who is not following Jesus, it was not a c hoice you made since becoming a Christian.
This article is for single Christians who still have the "dating" and marriage question ahead of them. To order this article in pamphlet form Missionary Dating I'm not exactly sure who came up with the term "missionary dating," but I love it because it so appropriately paints the picture.
Imagine this - a young girl, full of zeal for God, goes to a remote tribe of natives somewhere to evangelize the lost. She ends up having a special burden for the chief's handsome young son. He seems interested in God, and so she starts spending quite a bit of time with him in hopes of winning him to the Lord. Then, before you know it, her friends at the Missionary Society receive a postcard saying that she is getting married and won't be coming back.
Was he converted? Well, not really - but she has full confidence that he will be shortly. Meanwhile, she's happily getting ready to set up housekeeping in his hut full of idols which, of course, she wouldn't think of worshippingand dreaming of the wonderful future they will have together.
If you heard of a situation like this, what would you think about this girl's chances for real happiness - or her professed love for the Lord?
Her actions certainly seem to contradict the very things she says she believes in. I think it's safe to say that every marriage starts out with a simple date. Many Christians are deceived when it comes to this. They feel all right about dating an unbeliever, just as long as it doesn't "get too serious. Besides, maybe I can lead him to the Lord. I just want to have some fun right now, but when it comes to settling down, I will definitely marry a Christian.
I say this: Any Christian foolish enough to date an unbeliever is foolish enough to marry one! Important Decisions Marriage is the biggest and most important decision you will make after your decision to follow Jesus. And as I said before, all marriages start out with a "first date.
They have adopted the world's view on this, instead of God's. There is no such thing as "playing the field" when it comes to Christianity. Sure it gets lonesome sometimes, but remember, every date has the potential of becoming a lifelong relationship. Spending time with the wrong person is opening yourself up to becoming emotionally involved to a point where it is not always so easy to turn and walk away.
Once you have given your heart and your emotions to someone, you will be surprised at how difficult it is to have the desire to take them back - even if you know you should.
Here is part of a typical letter I have recently received from a young Christian girl. She has already been counseled and encouraged to do the right thing, but I wanted to share her predicament with you: "I'm 16 and the daughter of missionaries here in the Middle East.
Why You Shouldn't Marry or Date an Unbeliever. By Melody Green (or for that matter even dating) "I'm 16 and the daughter of missionaries here in the Middle East. I've had a really close walk with the Lord, and He has been good to me in so many ways. But I met a guy at school. If you are one of the many Christian singles dating unbelievers, save yourself additional troubles by getting out of the dating relationship as soon as possible. At the very least, the vast majority of Christians who date unbelievers or unsaved singles experience loss of sexual purity, loss of fellowship with the Lord and other believers, and heartache. I never would have considered dating a non-Christian. Not in a million years. In fact, "loves God and puts Him first" was always on the top of the list of what I was looking for. But then the frustration set in. It started as impatience, but it soon developed into a rampaging beast of .
I've had a really close walk with the Lord, and He has been good to me in so many ways. But I met a guy at school. He's not a Christian, and we've been going out for over three months. At the time, I believed it was fine, unless we married, which of course I have no intention of doing because he isn't a Christian.
When Your Relationship Becomes Your Idol
But lately I've spoken with someone who told me it was wrong, and that I should never have gone out with him in the beginning. Afterwards we were talking, and he laughed at all the 'weird Jesus, and dumb Christian songs' that I listen to.
I let him know I was hurt by the way he laughed about the name of Jesus, and now I really feel bad inside because of it, and I feel we should end our relationship. But it's very hard because we really like each other a lot, and I'm afraid my witness will all go down the drain if we break up. I'm really asking the Lord for wisdom now. If you have a few spare minutes you could remember me in prayer.
The time to ask Jesus for wisdom is before you start a relationship - not after. It is much easier than you think for your heart to overrule your conscience. Once your own desires are demanding priority, your zeal to put God first starts to quickly fade away. Your emotions are a powerful thing, and if you don't control them, they will control you! So what does it mean to be unequally yoked?
Picture if you will, two oxen tied together at the neck by a wooden crosspiece so they can pull a plow. They are two animals of the same species who have been joined together to do a specific job. They have been carefully trained to respond to the same commands, and once they are united, they are considered to be a team. A wise farmer picks two animals of similar size, strength, and temperament because he knows they will work the best together.
If one of them needed to be whipped before he would move, and the other one was terrified at even the sight of a whip, it would seem unwise to tie them together and expect them to work as a team. One "teammate" would frantically try to run away, while the other one would stubbornly refuse to budge. In fact, if two like this were joined together, it seems that disaster might be at hand - with possible damage to the equipment, hurt and confusion to the "teammates", and of course, the work would never get done.
Our beloved Jesus is the wisest and most loving "Farmer" in all the universe. He knows that we would never be happy if we were bound to someone who was pulling us in the opposite direction from where we wanted to go.
Our life would be one continual tug of war, and we would never be able to get on with the work that we were called to do. That is why He commanded us to marry "only in the Lord. It is really very simple.
I guess that's why it constantly amazes me that so many choose to ignore God's wisdom, thinking in vain that "it will all work out fine in the end.
This doesn't mean that you have to feel called to marriage with someone before you can spend any time together - but you must be able to see the qualities of a sincere lover of God in this person, and the fruit of their faith should be evident for all to see. If they pass this most crucial test, you still must seek God to see if it's all right to take the time to get to know this person better.
You should seek the Lord privately on this - that is, not with the person you are interested in. That way, if God says "No," no one will be hurt.
Can I Date Your Daughter?
I am assuming you have already spent time with this person in group situations - but a deeper relationship should only be entered into if and when the Lord gives you His express permission. If you are afraid to hear a possible "No" from God, then you are not seeking His will, but your own. This should be an immediate danger signal that something is wrong, and you shouldn't make a move until you get your heart right with the Lord.
Does all that sound a little strict to you? Well, just ask someone who has chosen the wrong mate due to a lack of patience, counsel, and prayer.
May 05, Can a Christian and a non-Christian date, fall in love, be genuinely happy, get married and do great things for the world? Of course! There are countless follower/non-follower relationships that would be viewed as phenomenal by any standard. Additionally, it is possible for you to follow Jesus and bear fruit throughout your life even if your. As a Christian father, should I give my daughter away at the wedding if she's marrying a non-believer? Over the more than twenty years of our marriage we've worked hard to raise her in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Her decision has come as a great disappointment to us. We love our daughter, but for us this is a question of conscience and faithfulness to biblical principles. Jul 09, So your child is dating a non-Christian and I've been the mother of a child who dated an unbeliever. The purpose of this post is not to teach about the issue of being unequally yoked. When I was angry at my teen daughter, I kept having this voice telling me to seek to understand first. But no, I just kept going cos I almost tiendakiteboarding.com: Kim Shay.
They will tell you that they wish someone would have told them the same things I am now telling you. So many are bound in miserable, unhappy marriages because they ignored Jesus and let their own desires drown out the voice of God. They have learned their lesson the hard way, and now it is too late for them to turn back and start over.
Either way, God will give you that wisdom if you ask for it and are brave enough to act. Being a Christ follower alongside my wife has given us some of our most joyous and clarifying moments together. And Henry, I want the same for you. Your job is to follow Christ and trust that everything else will fall in line. Have a question? All identifying information will be kept anonymous. Eddie Kaufholz is a writer, speaker and podcaster and serves as a director of church mobilization for International Justice Mission.
The My Daughter Is Dating An Unbeliever solution is to dress nice, appear charming and funny, be completely honest about your intentions and be ready to spend like a drunken sailor. The hard truth is that women know exactly what you want and they are not going to give it / May 04, You know my story. My wife began dating me as an unbeliever. But as much as I love her and our marriage, it was wrong for her to do so. While God was gracious to us, and brought me to a saving knowledge of Christ prior to our wedding date, let me be clear: to marry an unbeliever is to sin against God (1 Corinthians ). My daughter is dating an unbeliever - Rich man looking for older woman & younger woman. I'm laid back and get along with everyone. Looking for an old soul like myself. I'm a man. My interests include staying up late and taking naps. How to get a good man. It is not easy for women to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good woman.
He also hosts and produces "The New Activist" podcast. You can find on Twitter EdwardorEddie.
Christian Singles Dating Unbelievers
Not in a million years. But then the frustration set in. It started as impatience, but it soon developed into a rampaging beast of unbelief, doubt, and worst of all, hopelessness.
It felt like everyone I knew was married, including the kids I used to babysit. There seemed to be 10 girls for every single available guy in church. Then there was the pressure of every person I knew asking about my relationship status every time I saw them. It became hard to find peace between the God that I loved and this aching, unmet desire to find a companion.
I was irritated. So when the opportunity arose, I figured I would just take things into my own hands. Suddenly I got asked out in a grocery store line-up, and then at a dollar store.
Then, a really nice guy I met in a coffee shop asked me out. While the first two dates were just awkward encounters that made me feel uncomfortable and probably caused my face to glow red for hours afterwards, the third guy peaked my interest. He was funny. He was nice. He was kind. And he was pretty direct about his intentions.
He had a great career and he truly could give me everything I ever wanted in this life.
I was tossed into a sea of internal conflict. The idea of not seeing him again saddened me.
Daughter dating unbeliever
I liked the way I felt being around him. But the reality is, more often than not, they are really great. So, I made the decision to spend time with this guy and got to know him.
We hung out, we texted.