There are just certain things you are going to want to know before dating a fireman. In my experience, I had to learn along the way. But at the end of all the calls, constantly smelling his gear in the car and sometimes even cancelled plans, I sure do love my firefighter! No matter the circumstances, if you have a fireman on your hands, he will jet to the car and be on his way. I have learned that these nights are not optional. Yes, other people miss them, but not my firefighter. You will learn the lingo.
Search for:. Get used to nights alone- and attending birthdays, holidays, events, and family gatherings alone, as well. If the two of you have plans between 6 and 8pm, or 9 and 11am, you have to face that you might be going alone.
Probies, and some buffs will point out features of nearly every building you pass: Is it new code or old code? The guys from the academy and those in the house will just be last names to you. A lot.
Problems With Dating a Firefighter
While different, both are necessary for the protection of lives and property across the globe. So, get used to blue shirts. Department, sporting event, memorial, and every other damn shirt is some variation of blue. When shopping for or discussing what you need around the house or apartment, be prepared for suggestions like water cans and halligans. Movies like Backdraft and Ladder 49 will never be the same for you. Chances are, your regularly scheduled programs will be replaced with the likes of Rescue Me and Chicago Fire.
Setting the rules of engagement as far as what you and your firefighter can handle discussing in terms of the job and what he sees on a regular basis will take time. There will be rough conversations and testing the waters to see what both partners can handle discussing together. Learning how to prioritize might take time. If your firefighter handles it properly, his priorities should be: you his partnerthe firehouse, himself, everyone else.
Remember, at the end of the day- or rather, the start- if your firefighter is just beginning his career, neither of you really knows what to expect and adjustments will have to be made as far as expectations of the relationship.
His whole life: routines, eating habits, sleeping rituals, everything is changing; and so is yours. The worrying might get better, and sometimes it happens quickly. Share this: Twitter Facebook. Yes, I am nervous and not sure how to share time and space with each other. Thank you for listening and responding. It is exactly what i need to guide my decisions for the best!
Dear Anonymous; I am glad to have helped. Drop by any time with more questions. I too have 3 kids and have only let one woman I dated met them and that was awkward and I have never done that again, in fact my oldest daughter asked me to have her leave, needless to say that ended the relationship.
We aren't great at talking, but if he will listen that is a start. Good luck I too had my heart broken by the mother of my children and it is a long journey back to trusting again.
I'm glad I saw this!! I'm a 27 year old female and I'm dating a 25 year old firefighter long distance. He lives in Maryland and I live in Arkansas. My boyfriend is a very honest personand he's also loving and sweet and funny and loves to joke around. We're opposites in many ways and we love each other. What I've learned to appreciate is that he was honest enough to let me know once he became a firefighter, that he wouldn't get to call as much and I prayed for understanding and I got it.
Yeah I get lonely but I still realize that I won't come first but i'm not last either. When we first me online, he was just in the fire academy but when he told me, something in me convinced me to stay.
I actually prayed to God to find a firefighter. He granted my wish and him and I went through a lot of ups and downs but we're still together. He hasn't had a chance to call in almost a week and it hurts but you can't be selfish and you can't expect to get calls all the time. He's a good man to me and he's shown me many times and many ways that he loves me and I've learned to trust him.
Good luck Demetria Fails, a long distance relationship is difficult for any couple. I hope it goes well for you. I have to ask, have you ever met in person or is this only an online relationship? The time in the academy is very demanding and we all need support during that time. How regular was your contact then as compared to now? I know I had more down time after the academy than I had during the academy so I wonder how things have changed.
Something to think about. I am the woman who had the winded messages above. For some strange reason i find comfort in writing about my situation online with strangers.
Today, I have many unanswered questions about my relationship with my firefighter friend.
He has returned to work after having a HA as of Monday. The media is all over the story. This seems to bother him, so i am keeping my distance. I want to comfort him with affection, but he needs space. I believe men who have been bachelors for 40 years do not like to be smothered.
How do i handle this situation? I am trying to let him go back to the station and "the boys" with no distractions from me.
I wanted to drop off a small gift even though i know that it's not his style. He never told me when i could stop by so i never mentioned it again.
It hurt to see him all over tv, but glad he was going back to what he loves. Am I making a good decision? My friends tell me i need to decide if he his what i want after 3 years of off and on dating. What they do not know is why i put up with his stubborn ways? One thing i know for sure he cares and respects me very much! For the first time he looked me in the eye and told me he appreciates me and knows i will always be there for him.
I have seen him at his low points and high for 3 years. I see him maybe once a week but i want more time. My feelings and how i treat our relationship has changed and grown. He treats me different yet it's small steps which keep me wondering. How do i get more time with him? What can i do to insure i am the women who is willing to be there no matter what? I know he has tried a couple times to have serious relationships and they ended with them meeting other men. I am older and have a son.
I do not want to play games and date. My patients is running thin today especially since it is not a good time to say this stuff when he just returned back to the job after a serious HA.
What to do? Am falling in love with a firefighter which i never intended. Dear Anonymous, my goodness this is the very first time you have used the word love in all these exchanges and you only mention it as a thought of yours. At this point I have to call bull shit on him.
Apr 16, Know what you are getting into dating a firefighter. These men (I'll stick to male firefighters that's what I know) may come in many different packages but for the vast majority the job will be their first love. Their boys, the men they hang with have a huge impact on their lives and you will at first be dating him and his boys. Sep 14, I have been a firefighter's wife for over 18 years now. We have struggled and we have triumphed over many things. I wish I would have known a few things at the beginning of my marriage that I know now. Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way on many an occasion. First, having my husband gone for 24 plus hours is different than most people's situations. Sep 28, If a firefighter asks you out, say yes. Here's why: 1. Who doesn't love a man (or woman) in uniform? 2. You'll be dating a lifesaver. 3. Related to #2, firefighters are pros at mouth-to-mouth. 4. Firefighters are trained to quickly and efficiently solve problems. 5. Firefighters don't run away from difficult situations. 6. Firefighters can literally sweep you off your .
He respects you and cares for you yet keeps your relationship casual. If a woman was important to me I'd show her off I'd be proud of what she has done for me after three years. Your guy sounds more like the "Man-boys" I have worked with, they need to hold on to a woman while always looking for something better.
That isn't a relationship that is selfish and childish and he is using you. I have tried to be kind and understanding in our conversations but you need to hear the truth at this point and I'm sure it hurts, but have some respect for yourself.
Is this what you believe you deserve? To be together once a week? I think he feels two ways, one is it's safe keeping you around and two he doesn't really want to hurt your feelings so he is hoping you will figure this out on your own and let it go, then he doesn't have to be the bad guy.
I'd give him a good long break without saying that is what you are doing. No phone calls, no letting him drop by and no warning this is what you are doing, just go silent and see what happens. It will be hard but you will find out where he stands, if he doesn't notice or lets it go on without complaint, you will have your answer. Respect yourself and your child and God will show you the truth.
Good luck I'll say a prayer for you. Let me know how it goes. We have been friends for over 30 years. We married other people, divorced them as well It has taken him all these years to finally drop the "L" word.
We have had many attempts with almost dates-they didn't happen because of the profession-way of life. I have to respect that and I do. Sometimes I do wonder about his speedy tongue in cheek attempts with reconnecting- as if it in itself were a test to see if I pass. LOL BTW the "L" word was said after one of my long silences, and then telling him in an email I may be moving which I was as I didn't see any reason to stay in the area-he wasn't giving me one though I didn't say that.
Now it seems he is quiet this time. Well Ms. Anonymous, I find it funny calling love the "L" word, so do you think you love him?
Apr 12, Your firefighter, society, and personal stories can teach you only a couple things about dating a career firefighter. To save time, I have compiled a thorough list of pointers I wish I had known before The Man became a career firefighter. First and foremost, firefighters come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities: from the guy. Dating or marrying a firefighter can also be a great experience as long as you know what to expect. Missing your birthday might not be good, but .
I can tell you a story of a woman I met right before my first marriage, wow! She was the one, but I was already committed to another. When that ended I quickly found the the other woman and we were together with in days. I loved her, do love her but was too unstable and drinking too much, she couldn't trust that and ended up marrying another guy.
Now I am divorced again and can't find her I have no idea where she is and I regret that very much. You have known him for more than 30 years, so unless you met in 1st grade I'm guessing you are over thirty yourself. Isn't it time to rise above the bull shit in life? Haven't you been through enough? Hasn't he? You are going to get a guy a bit damaged, but who isn't? He put himself out there maybe to quickly, but we are trained to act quickly, to make very quick decisions it is in our DNA.
It doesn't mean we don't think things through, we do, it just means we make those decisions much faster than most. So do you want to play games, is this a test on your part now?
At this point do you really have that much to lose? What the hell? I know I'm past the point in my life of wanting to live with regret, should-a-could-a-would-a that ain't for me anymore. At least take him out for a test drive for once without worry or anticipation or expectations.
You may be surprised or you can move away and wonder. The next guy that rolls into your life won't have any of the knowledge of the past 30 years the way this guy does.
Do really want to break in a new man? I assume you have a good idea of who he is and what he is, a better idea than any other man in your life. Keep me posted I'd love to know what happens. Thanks Tim, On all counts you are spot on! I will keep you posted for sure.
As of last night's phone conversation to me, he restated his profuse love for me in which there was no hesitation to reciprocate how mutual that was on my part. I did remind him I don't put myself out there often, and I don't take those words lightly-neither does he. We plan on seeing each other this week which will be a good thing-he is off on medical leave at the moment and so we will have time to catch up a bit.
Breaking in a new person? What's to be gained by that? This guy has the road map to who I am and it's pretty much vice-versa. If it comes to anything I will learn further I am sure.
The most important actions on my part are to go into this what ever it is with no expectations, no worries. I can't help the anticipation part-I'm excited! It's like getting strapped in on a thrill seeker's best amusement park ride for the first time, or paragliding off a foot ridge in Mexico just before the wind really picks up.
You have to have your wits about you, but also,just enjoy the experience. Who better with than a best friend? More later, Me. Thank you so much for the ate. I really hope it turns in to what you both want. We all deserve a little comfort and company in our lives. I appreciate, result in I discovered just what I was looking for. You've ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye Here is my site So as usual, everything down that path is on hold.
Or, maybe he is all talk. Who really knows. I'm really sorry to hear that.
All I can contribute at this point is my experience with PT after having a shoulder repaired and a knee a few years later. I had daily PT or at least times a week. I was given pain meds for pain and used those. I drove myself to those events and was on light duty for awhile. I still managed my children while my ex a firefighter herself was on duty and pretty much was functional within the first week following surgery.
So two thoughts here, is it possible he is abusing his meds? As an alcoholic I know I had to be careful with them as many become addicted very quickly, is he depressed about his situation? My thought is when we lose our work schedule in the station and go on light duty it can be depressing and if you add booze and pain killers he may be drunk dialing you when depressed and feeling sorry for himself, then sobers up and is embarrassed about what he did.
How to handle dating a firefighter
I'm just throwing darts here I have no idea of what you are going through. It can be very hard for some FF to accept help when down and maybe that is it, or he doesn't want you to see him when he is weak and vulnerable, there are many possibilities here, he could just be a dumb shit. Check in anytime, don't know if I helped, but remember to value yourself even if he doesn't. Tim, He does like his pint like most men, though I don't think he is abusing-he doesn't come off drunk anyway.
Where I think his issue is It's that Paleolithic thing of the hunter lol! Being a Capt I am sure a few look up to him, and he allows the guys into his whatever is going on as well.
To females I doubt that is the case. Especially with me considering he thinks of me with interest. What he doesn't get is that I accept him the way he is on any given occasion. I believe he will be learning about that in the near future either with me or someone else.
If not? Now you tell me he's a Captain. Well I'm glad to know addiction isn't a component, I go there because of alcoholism. Ah yes the man's man syndrome, does his crew know you?
Many times the boys in blue have their input as well, if you know one and are comfortable with it, you could do an end around through one of his boys, if you wanted to. Well you are right, it could be his loss, hope he knows that. Thinking of you and sending a prayer your way. No, I don't know his people yet, met a few once a long ago so, I would have to say no, not really.
Like I said we have been on and off. Not sure what an end around through one might be, but it kind of sounds a bit contrived and pushing where I shouldn't. One can not fit a square peg in a round hole anyway.
If it works it will, but not holding my breath on Mr. Dominant Male Capt. He needs to come to me or not at all. I know that sounds harsh, but this "I love you" and then smoke screens just isn't cutting it. You would think he would be a tad bit more attentive. We shall see. Good luck Ms. Anonymous like you said his loss. Thanks for asking for and listening to my answers.
Do you have email or a facebook where i could chat with you? I have been searching high and low for a blog like yours to understand this amazing confusing man. Tim do you have an email or facebook i could chat with you about my situation? LiLTime gmail.
I see how ya are I knew it all along So many red flags!! If he's only spent the night at your place and you've never met the family or a close friend in the six years you've known each other then sista he's just yo boy toy!! Don't fall for " I take care of my family and they live with me and the, I don't mix my personal life with family Besides, isen't that what you truly want? I admire them in uniform They are heros. If life takes you there. I just started dating one-I am familiar with a firefighter my Grandpa-then I have a close long time friend who has been an EMTbut its hard and weird but somehow it fitsI have a 5 year old and he has 2 little onesbut I'm hoping to get him standing in front of me at least once a month so I can rip his clothes offhe is in my mind and heart-and im hooked.
I've got one for you. I'm a firefighter. But it is almost the same for female firefighters. We don't like to come home to stress, we like to keep it simple.
And you will have to go through the group. We do like to dress up from time to time but not really that often. We don't come home from work looking beautiful and prettied up.
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VLOG - IM DATING A FIRE FIGHTER?? + MODELING + SOUL CYCLE
Pages Confessions of a Fireman. See More! Thursday, April 12, Top tips for dating a Firefighter, by a Firefighter. Over the years married and single I had many women friends that wanted me to introduce them to firefighter friends, they wanted to date a fireman.
There were no shortages of eligible firefighters that I knew and they came in all shapes and sizes, old and young, nice and not so nice. I did introduce quite a few friends and arrange things like double dates when married and wingman dates when single.
Some of these meetings were very successful and lead to long term dating, others not so much. So what did the failures have in common? I must post a warning here before I begin. Know what you are getting into dating a firefighter. Their boys, the men they hang with have a huge impact on their lives and you will at first be dating him and his boys.
May 16, That firefighter will jump up, stop whatever they are doing grab keys, shoot out the door and off they go. There might be kids playing in the backyard, dinner cooking in the oven or a half-mowed lawn but when the voice from that black box attached to their belts shouts out an address and a problem, that firefighter's mind completely changes. Top tips for dating a Firefighter, by a Firefighter. Over the years (married and single) I had many women friends that wanted me to introduce them to firefighter friends, they wanted to date a fireman. You will be tested by his alternates, this will be a feeling out to see how you handle yourself, it also gives him a chance to step in and. Although dating a firefighter can be a rich and gratifying experience, it contains its share of hazards. During periods of high stress, even the best relationship can go up in flames. Couple that with a date whose job requires brutal hours, and you've got your hands full. Happily, singles interested in dating a.
We do want each other to find happiness and find a woman. But that woman has to fit the group, nothing worse than a nightmare girlfriend to create havoc in the team, and if you piss off his friends he will be put in a position at some point of picking you or them, and if you do that it will end poorly. Leave it alone. If it is going to work out they will adjust on their own, but pushing early is a deal breaker.
Keep conversations light, avoid serious topics or overly intellectual subjects. The easiest conversation is to have him talk about himself. Why is he a firefighter? What is the best part about the job? Has he ever been scared at a big call? Get to know the man, he wants to be accepted as the man doing the job, not as a character in a movie.
This can happen in two ways, the best thing you can hope for is an invitation to visit the station. You might even suggest it in a non-stalker way.
Tell him you would love to see where he works, or ask if you might bring some cookies by the station. It will be after normal duty hours generally after the evening meal, when we have some down time. Understand the testosterone laden environment you will be entering, you will rightly or wrongly be evaluated on your attractiveness. Nothing like making the night for a bunch of hardworking men by having some pretty women stop by the house, remember there could be more single guys there.
But ask first, if he agrees, bring it on. If he is hesitant or unsure drop it and go by yourself.